So...let me explain why Victory Road can ram a fist up its own ass:
Victory Road in Generation-I was a glorious romp of Strength puzzles, powerful wild Pokemon, and interesting trainers. Oh, and motherfucking Moltres who starts off with Fire Spin, the most broken Fire-type move in Generation-I. You really only required a Pokemon with the move Strength to get through, but once you got up there, you never needed to equip your HM slave again.
Victory Road in Generation-II was a glorious improvement, in the sense that it was nowhere near as challenging and it came jam-packed with awesome Pokemon like Ursaring, Donphan, and Rhyhorn. Most importantly, you didn't need any HM moves to navigate it.
In order to get to the Hoenn League HQ, you need Pokemon that know Surf, Waterfall, Flash, Rock Smash, and Strength. Fucking excuse me?! FUCKING EXCUSE ME?!?! I'm surprised I didn't need Cut, Sweet Scent and Secret Power too, you miserable pricks! How could you so heavily enforce HM-slavery in the most treacherous road in the game?! Let me break this down for you.
In order to progress easily through the game, you need to know Cut, Fly, Surf, Strength, Flash, Rock Smash, Dive, Waterfall, and Dig or Teleport if you're in a bind and need to get back to a Pokemon Center A.S.A.P.
Tropius can learn Cut, Fly, Strength, and Flash...all proper HM moves in Generation-III. Poliwrath can learn Surf, Waterfall, Dive, and Rock Smash...also proper HM moves in this Generation. Now, this is the most conservative way to spread Generation-III HM slavery, but for fuck's sake, you need 2 HM slaves to get through a single route?! And that's only if you were smart about it and researched it beforehand! Luckily I decided Wailmer was going to be a Water-type HM slave, but goddamn it, I needed Slaking for Strength, I needed fucking Ninjask for Flash (who I haven't touched since he evolved), and goddamned Mightyena for Rock Smash and Dig (because I knew my ass needed to get the fuck out of there many times for healing because my party was shit). I had room for two other Pokemon and I chose Blaziken and Magneton, and that is a shitty type-spread that would get totally boned by half of the things in that fucking cave! And if that wasn't bad enough, I kept forgetting who I needed to have in my team and who needed to stay in the PC for a bit, so I must have used ten or so Escape Ropes just to fix my fucking tactical errors in charting my path through this shit Victory Road. If TM's were reusable like they are in later games, I'd have no problem just swapping between TM and HM moves just to get my strong party through there, but nope...old tech means all the fucking problems you faced since Generation-I with one-timer TMs. Fuck that noise.
On the positive side, Wailmer finally evolved...
But he's not getting used for serious battle, so fuck his stats. That does, however, mean I get to start hunting the Regis--
FUCK! HOW DO I GET TO THE SEALED CHAMBER AGAIN?!?
Okay, so...I gotta run up to here and use Dig...then run over here with Wailmer in the front of my party and Relicanth in the back--
I hear rumbling! I think I did it! Now...the unbearable hunt begins.
Why unbearable, you might say? The Regis have a catch rate of 3. That's a 0.4% chance of successful capture. That's not even a 1 in 100 chance...That's a 1 in 250 chance. That means that if I throw Ultra Balls, statistically speaking, I should be able to catch one if I throw 125 Ultra Balls at him. Using the knowledge that you can only throw one ball per round, and each round lasts about 6 seconds or so, taking into account that you may need to dedicate some rounds to damaging the target or switching to Pokemon with the proper status-inducing moves, it should take no longer than 15 minutes to catch a Regi. Since there are three of them, and traveling to each individual location where they can be found might accrue some extra minutes, you should be able to catch all three in under an hour (assuming that you have 375 Ultra Balls).
The Regis don't have enough PP to survive 125 rounds, so they end up struggling and knocking themselves out if you don't beat the fucking astronomical capture odds. Fortunately, I had a dream-team and a rock-solid plan:
Step One: Magneton paralyzes them with Thunder Wave.
Step Two: Machamp safely lowers their HP with Seismic Toss.
Step Three: Blaziken uses Bulk Up to max out its Defense and takes any hits they can throw at him.
Step Four: Throw all the Ultra Balls possible.
Step Five: Curse vehemently when that shit doesn't fucking work.
Granted, I caught them all, but for crying out loud, my Registeel is in a fucking Nest Ball and I caught Regice by...and I shit you not...throwing an Ultra Ball and then flipping the GameBoy upside-down for good luck. It's Vulpix in the Lure Ball all over again, but I was damned if I was gonna waste a Master Ball on any of those fucks, even Regice. Breaking my fucking balls all over the place just for this guy here and for Regigigas in the future, but you look at that Special Defense and you know it's all worth it.
Regice, lvl 40
Gender: None
Nature: Mild
Ability: Clear Body
HP: 123
Attack: 45
Defense: 81
Special Attack: 103
Special Defense: 172
Speed: 54
Now that everything is assembled, the TMs I've been saving have been taught to their respective Pokemon, and a fast-travel option has opened up to the Elite Four, it's time to grind the team I've carefully selected to take on the Pokemon League. You won't be hearing from me on this blog again until I have the team fully prepared to take the gold. If Wallace's strongest Pokemon is his Milotic at Level 58, then if I use my typings to my best advantage, I would need to get everyone at least to Level 50. I'm not that far from that now, but Lairon needs the most work, so he's getting the Experience Share to hold until he earns that Soft Sand.
Gents, we're gonna be spending a little bit more time in Victory Road...but this time, we're here to kick ass.
Magneton, lvl 45
Blaziken, lvl 44
Slaking, lvl 42
Regice, lvl 40
Tropius, lvl 39
Lairon, lvl 32
Pokedex: 71, Badges: 8
