I SEE NOTHING!!!

I don't want to wait any longer! I want my badge! I want to fly! I want--!

...that thing! I want that thing!

Tropius, lvl 25

Gender: Female

Nature: Relaxed

Ability: Chlorophyll

HP: 86

Attack: 39

Defense: 52

Special Attack: 41

Special Defense: 52

Speed: 33

Do you even understand how long it took me to catch this thing with Castform? CASTFORM! YOU ARE AN ICE-TYPE WHEN IT'S HAILING! YOU ARE FOUR-TIMES STRONG AGAINST IT!

YOU FUCKING SUCK, CASTFORM! LEARN MORE MOVES!

Alright, now, we can take a quick look around before heading to the gym, but we're not gonna go crazy here.

Let's see...ooh, Ultra Balls for sale at the Poke-Mart! I don't remember if I've been able to buy those yet, but yay regardless.  And I can apparently buy more furniture for my weird little hideout in the desert.  Okay, nothing really crazy here except the Hidden Power TM that I am never going to use, so let's just head over to the gym and--

WHAT IS BLOCKING MY PATH?!?!? FUCKING WHAT?!?!?!? I SEE NOTHING!!!

I have had it with this cock-tease bullshit! Google!

Okay...

For fuck's sake, is this game just all about Steven Stone and May giving you shit because of fucking no reason whatsoever? Is giving plot-progressing key items tax-deductible for these bastards? Fine.

So he's on Route 120 somewhere--

There! On the bridge! Steven! Give me--!

...one second to catch this thing!

Absol, lvl 27

Gender: Female

Nature: Timid

Ability: Pressure

HP: 79

Attack: 72

Defense: 38

Special Attack: 45

Special Defense: 38

Speed: 50

NOW GIVE ME THE SIGHT!

Alright, now let's see what the fuck is going on over here...

This? THIS is what has been blocking my way? You PIECE OF SHIT!

Let me just say that the people of Hoenn don't have a fucking prayer if they can't move around a goddamned Kecleon! I mean Jesus Christ, Kanto was practically full of Snorlaxes and they just built tunnels under it! Even Johto found ways around the Sudowoodo--

Oh no...is another fucking staple of the Pokemon franchise the "a random fuck-off Pokemon is blocking your path until you acquire this macguffin?"

Just fucking kill me already.

Kecleon, lvl 30

Gender: Female

Nature: Bold

Ability: Color Change

HP: 77

Attack: 57

Defense: 60

Special Attack: 42

Special Defense: 82

Speed: 34

Holy shit, she's not too bad! Better than Castform, at least.

Fuck you, Castform.  Learn better shit.

Well, thanks, Steven.  I guess I--

Did you just fly away from me? Oh, you gloating sack of shit...

That's fine.  We're this close, people.  We're gonna fly soon.  Only one thing stands in our way and that's the gym.  So let's just--

Who put this here? What the fuck is a Nest Ball? Do I want this? Screw it, let's just hold onto it.

YES! KNEW IT! FLYING-TYPE GYM! This is going to be great!

Winona! I don't know who you've got on your team, but I got three good reasons to fear the shit outta me.  Firstly:

Graveler came with me.  Secondly:

Magnemite evolved.

Magneton, lvl 30

HP: 73

Attack: 50

Defense: 65

Special Attack: 77

Special Defense: 61

Speed: 54

And thirdly:

The one-man rape-machine has finally arrived.

Lairon, lvl 32

HP: 86

Attack: 69

Defense: 105

Special Attack: 42

Special Defense: 44

Speed: 44

My defenses are solid, my Rock-types are ready, and I have been wanting to fly since fucking Dewford! I WANT THIS MORE THAN I WANT AN ELECTIVIRE!

...okay, that's bullshit.  BUT I STILL WANT THIS SO BAD!

Blaziken, lvl 38

Tentacruel, lvl 33

Graveler, lvl 33

Lairon, lvl 32

Magneton, lvl 30

Castform, lvl 27

Pokedex: 52, Badges: 5