Now, hear me out...I'm not going in here to catch Pokemon. I wanted to just improve on one of my neglected Pokemon. You see, I figured that if I'm going to Mt. Pyre, I might want to revamp the team a bit.
Let's tag some of you stronger fellas out for some other guys who haven't gotten the attention they deserve. Plus...Mt. Pyre, water route, and Team Magma/Aqua on the mountain? Let's work the typing to our advantage.
Now that I have the Solarbeam TM from the Safari Zone, I can teach that and Sunny Day to Tropius, who also knows Fly and Razor Leaf. That ought to make him a contributor.
Mount Pyre...gotta be like the Burned Tower in Johto, right? I mean, it's got "pyre" in the name and Team Magma is there, so there's bound to be Fire-types there.
Right?
WAY THE FUCK OFF! But hey, Ghost-types!
Shuppet, lvl 27 Duskull, lvl 26
Gender: Female Gender: Female
Nature: Impish Nature: Naive
Ability: Insomnia Ability: Levitate
HP: 66 HP: 51
Attack: 48 Attack: 32
Defense: 28 Defense: 57
Special Attack: 42 Special Attack: 24
Special Defense: 29 Special Defense: 47
Speed: 30 Speed: 25
I wish there was a Ghastly somewhere, but c'est la vie--
HEY! I WAS RIGHT...KINDA!
Vulpix, lvl 27
Gender: Male
Nature: Naughty
Ability: Flash Fire
HP: 65
Attack: 31
Defense: 31
Special Attack: 32
Special Defense: 41
Speed: 46
Well, I found Team Aqua. Too bad they can't stand a chance against Vigoroth-the-Merciless or his faithful companion, Magi--
Ladies and gentlemen...prepare your rectums. Gyarados is here and he's going raw-dog on all y'all. The majesty...the power...the hate-mongering...FUCK Y'ALL WITH YOUR MOMMA'S DICK!
Gyarados, lvl 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Ability: Intimidate
HP: 75
Attack: 63
Defense: 41
Special Attack: 37
Special Defense: 48
Speed: 37
Granted, he's fairly weak right now, but he's gonna be my Water guy from here on out. Surf, Bite, Fire Blast, and...well, Tackle for now, but soon Twister! BANG!
What's up, Broseidon? We gonna duke it out?
Still nope? Well, eat dicks.
What the fuck did I come here for exactly?
Ah...further exposition.
So, Team Magma stole the Red Orb and Team Aqua stole the Blue Orb, which are both supposed to keep these two from fucking the earth in the face...and I guess I gotta go get them back? Then Rayquaza does something...I don't fucking know. I need a Cinnabar diary for this shit.
Wait...there's a path passed Mt. Pyre? Oh shit!
Route 123? Why does that sound familiar...?
OH MY GOD! THAT FUCKING FORK IN THE ROAD WAS AGES AGO--!
Oh no...how long is this path gonna be?
...fuck.
That's arguably my favorite portmanteau ever. Shit + Hitler = Shitler. Use liberally as an argument-ending insult.
That was fucking laborious--
Wait a fucking second! How did I miss this before?! 12 plots of land to plant berries?!? Oh shit! There's gonna be some serious farm-grinding to come soon.
Plenty of trainers around still. Let's just clear this place of the pretenders and--
THERE!
Remember about the rectums? Prepare them again.
Slaking, lvl 36
Ability: Truant
HP: 164
Attack: 137
Defense: 83
Special Attack: 84
Special Defense: 62
Speed: 86
Wait...he can't learn Skill Swap? Shit. Well, I suppose that would be broken as fuck...but maybe...
Oh yes, my friend. You're gonna get that shit soon because I've got quite the devious plan in the works. Hold off on that for a bit, because Gyarados needs some strength before you do. Actually, I don't know; you're the lowest level Pokemon I've caught, so getting you up to Level 16 shouldn't be very difficult with the Experience Share. Eh, let me sleep on it and I'll get back to you in the morning.
Now...where the fuck do I go from here? The next gym city seems to be across the water from Lilycove, but I can't get there because of the fucking Wailords in the way.
Fuck you, dick.
WHERE DO I GO--?!?
How long has that been there?
Blaziken, lvl 40
Slaking, lvl 36
Lairon, lvl 32
Magneton, lvl 31
Tropius, lvl 25
Gyarados, lvl 21
Pokedex: 58, Badges: 6
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