Let's get down to business, shall we?
Abra! We have some serious work to do! You have been sitting in that PC box for too goddamned long and I don't have a viable Psychic-type yet, so you're up to bat! Let's go!
Mount Pyre would be the best place to start your training, because rumor has it, I've missed a huge portion of it.
And that rumor has it, that there are plenty of trainers all the way up to the sixth floor.
And that SAME rumor has it, that somewhere in this mountain, there's a TM for Shadow Ball.
So Abra, you will fight your way through those trainers...
You will fight your way to that Shadow Ball TM...
Because we still have a long way to go until the Elite Four...
And you WILL level up, motherfucker!
Now, you learn that Shadow Ball and you will kick some ass!
Kadabra, lvl 26
Ability: Synchronize
HP: 64
Attack: 27
Defense: 27
Special Attack: 72
Special Defense: 42
Speed: 73
Gonna hang out in the Trick House for a bit, earn some weird shit, level some guys, then, I can take on the Aqua Base.
I, umm...how do I get through here?
Seriously, why is the entrance blocked? I did everything I needed to do. Why won't you let me through?
Team Magma is trying to awaken an "awesome" Pokemon at their hideout? Okay...where the fuck is that? Could that be Mount Chimney? Is it on Mount Chimney? Let's see...
Okay...fuck, it's clearly not here. There's a bunch of weak-ass trainers here with weak-ass Pokemon, so it's clear that I should have been here a while ago. Okay, we're gonna try something innovative...
Okay...where do I go?!?!?
Slateport City? Alright, be on the lookout for a crowd of people by the port.
Still nothing? Shit! Come the fuck on?!?!
Let's just wander around a bit.
I mean, I wonder how much ash I have...I'm certain that I could probably make a flute out of--
Oh, motherfucker, are you serious?!?! IT WAS RIGHT HERE?!?!?!? Ugh...alright. How hard could this be, really?
Oh...
Oh...okay.
Jesus Fucking Christ, Magma...get your shit together.
I need Strength to get in here? Ugh...looks like Mightyena is coming out to play now.
Looks like a lot of these people are talking about Groudon. Is...is it time?
Maxie, what are you doing?
Maxie, what have you done?!
Maxie, you done made a big ol' whoopsie, didn't ya? Are you gonna fix this shit?
No? You gonna battle me instead? Fine, dumbass. Let the world burn.
ROUND ONE:
Kevin's Blaziken, lvl 40 vs. Maxie's Mightyena, lvl 37
Double-Kick is a solid hit, but doesn't quite take out the dog.
Scary Face...not a bad way to counter, since Blaziken is all about the Speed--
Super Potion, naturally, and Mightyena is back up to 75% health.
Double-Kick again and there's just a hair's breadth of health left on Mightyena.
Take Down? Wow...interesting call. Blaziken only has 97/123 HP, but the recoil takes himself out. Eh, to each their own, I guess.
ROUND TWO:
Do you want to know what's gonna happen here, Maxie? You got a Fire/Ground and I got a Water/Flying that know's Surf. You...you gonna get the Surf.
Next?
ROUND THREE:
Kevin's Magneton, lvl 31 vs. Maxie's Crobat, lvl 38
Do you want to know what's gonna happen here, Maxie? You got a Poison/Flying and I got a Electric/Steel that know's Thunderbolt. You...you gonna get the Thunderbolt.
Unless you confuse me with Confuse Ray and I hurt myself. Then yeah...that's what gonna do.
Yeah, Bite. Why not? I'm Steel. I ain't got time for that shit.
Thunderbolt hits and you in the yellow. Not enough to warrant a Super Potion, is it--?
I...I was mistaken. It's absolutely enough to warrant a Super Potion. So be it.
Thunderbolt K.O. Adios, Maxie. I just gotta find a fucking way out of this crocodile's asshole of a hideout.
As long as I'm in the area, I might as well work on these flutes?
Now I don't need as much help from the berries, but still, it's nice to have them just in case.
I suppose I should do some berry maintenance while I'm still trying to figure shit out--
Why is it raining?
Oh wait...THE AQUA BASE!!! NOW is the time to head to Slateport City!
Ha! Progress!
They found an underwater cavern on Route 128? Alright, I suppose I'm gonna need something to help me dive down there--
Clearly not the submarine, because they stole that shit.
OH! They're heading back to their base! They're heading to the Aqua Base! Yes!
NOW I can do this thing!
Blaziken, lvl 40
Slaking, lvl 37
Magneton, lvl 32
Tropius, lvl 29
Gyarados, lvl 29
Kadabra, lvl 29
Pokedex: 59, Badges: 6
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