Why am I calling this that?
Because it took 26 1/2 FUCKING ROUNDS TO END!!!
I needed a fucking drink after this battle, and that's saying something.
Mossdeep City Gym: Liza & Tate, the Masters of Endurance
I have no idea what it is about Psychic-type gyms, but they always give me the most trouble.
ROUND ONE:
Kevin's Gyarados, lvl 32 & Kevin's Pelipper, lvl 33 vs. Tate's Xatu, lvl 41 & Liza's Claydol, lvl 41
Oh...shit. I just realized my old format for gym-battle break-downs doesn't really work for double battles. Okay...let's try it this way:
LIZA & TATE'S TEAM:
Xatu (41) Claydol (41) Solrock (42) Lunatone (42)
KEVIN'S TEAM:
Slaking (40) Alakazam (31) Gyarados (32)
Magneton (34) Blaziken (40) Pelipper (33)
Wow...I, uh...I really should have thought this through and trained a bit longer before getting into this shit. I'm really high on Special Attack and Speed, but they've got serious levels on most of my team and enough Special Defense to deal with anything I can throw at them. Okay...let's try this out anyway, since you know the battle already happened and it lasted 26 rounds.
ROUND ONE:
Kevin leads with Gyarados and Pelipper.
Granted, Water-type attacks won't be so good against Xatu, but Pelipper knows Shock Wave! Haha, motherfucker! Forgot about that, didn't ya?!
Xatu leads off with Calm Mind; Claydol follows with Light Screen.
Fuck me...not only are they faster, but they've got booster moves to keep their shit tight.
However, I figured that might happen...
Pelipper hits Xatu with Shock Wave and barely does anything; Gyarados hits Claydol with Dragon Rage and deals a solid, non-negotiable 40 damage.
This is going to be a massacre. Thank God I went shopping before this fight.
ROUND TWO:
Xatu hits Pelipper with Psychic and knocks him out; Claydol hits Gyarados with Psychic and take him down to half health.
GAH, WHY?!?! I already have to sub out?! Fuck me!
Magneton don't do shit because he just came out; Gyarados hits Claydol with Dragon Rage again and leaves Claydol with only a third of its health.
It can't possibly be enough to warrant a potion, but I need to sacrifice Magneton because I know he won't have the chops here to do anything but by time.
ROUND THREE:
I use Magneton's turn to revive Pelipper...sorry, bro. You gotta bite the big one on this fight.
Xatu hits Gyarados with Psychic and it's a K.O., gotta sub in Slaking; Claydol uses Earthquake and knocks out Magneton and does a bit of damage to Slaking, and I sub in Alakazam.
Didn't get a single attack in on that round. FUCK. Now, we've got Speedy Gonzales and the One-Ton Wrecking Machine out for blood.
ROUND FOUR:
Alakazam uses Skill Swap with Slaking; Slaking uses Strength and knocks out Claydol.
Finally, a fucking fall from the twins' team.
Solrock is subbed in for Claydol and can't do diddly; Xatu uses Confuse Ray on Slaking.
Well, shit. These people actually got their act together. This...this blows.
ROUND FIVE:
I'm gonna use Alakazam's turn to use a Max Revive on Gyarados because now that Alakazam is Truant, he can't do shit.
Slaking is gonna use Slash--
He hurt himself. MOTHERFUCKER YOU CAN'T TOM THIS SHIT WHEN A BADGE IS ON THE LINE!!!!!
Tom as in Tom Cedar. You should know who that is.
Xatu uses Sunny Day; Solrock tried to use Sunny Day and it failed because it's already sunny.
Dumb motherfuckers. If they're psychic, wouldn't they know not to use the same--
OH FUCK THEY KNOW THAT I'M RESURRECTING THE WATER-TYPES.
I...I hate...I hate so much.
ROUND SIX:
Alakazam uses Skill Swap on Solrock; Slaking uses Slash on Xatu and put him in the deep red.
BOOM, BITCHES! Didn't think I'd make your ass Truant, huh?! NOT PSYCHIC ENOUGH, BUTT-PLUGGER!
Xatu and Solrock both use Psychic and team up to knock out Slaking. I gotta sub in Pelipper now.
I...I might have spoken a bit out of line there, gentlemen. Please...I'm sure that we can just--
ROUND SEVEN:
Hyper Potion is used on Xatu. I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE!!!!!!
Alakazam hits Xatu with a Shadow Ball, doing minor damage; Pelipper hits all with Surf and pretty much embarrasses himself.
Shame on you, bird.
Nobody does shit because Solrock is loafing around and the Xatu was too busy eating a potion. Well, that was convenient.
ROUND EIGHT:
Alakazam hits Xatu with another Shadow Ball and leaves it with 75% health; Pelipper waits to die because its speed is nonsense.
Xatu uses Psychic and destroys Pelipper, forcing me to sub in Gyarados again; Solrock hits Gyarados with Solarbeam and takes away a third of its health.
Funny...I didn't think you could target a Pokemon that WASN'T THERE AT THE START OF THE ROUND!!!!!!
ROUND NINE:
Of course, at this time, Solrock is gonna loaf and the bastards are gonna heal Xatu AGAIN with ANOTHER Hyper Potion.
Fucking lame as shit. I'm gonna need Slaking to destroy that punk so I can release the waves.
Alakazam uses Shadow Ball on Xatu and takes it back down to 75%; Gyarados hits Solrock with Dragon Rage because I hate all this Special Attack nerf-bullshit.
Solrock is now down to half health. This is looking more promising, even though they are going to slaughter me soon.
ROUND TEN:
Alakazam hits Solrock now with Shadow Ball and brings him down to 33% health.
Xatu hits Gyarados with Psychic for a knockout, forcing me to bring in Blaziken as a lamb to slaughter; Solrock renews the Sunny Day.
Then, of course, the Solrock eats a Sitrus Berry and regains 30 health. FUCK YOU.
ROUND ELEVEN:
Both of my turns are used to use Revives; one for Slaking, one for Gyarados.
Xatu knocks the mighty Blaziken out with Psychic, meaning Slaking is coming out for the kill; Solrock loafs around.
Seriously...I am so glad I did that Skill Swap bullshit.
ROUND TWELVE:
Alakazam hits Xatu with Shadow Ball and takes it down to 1/2 health; Slaking finishes the job with Strength.
THANK GOD! THE BIRD...JUST...WOULDN'T...GO...DOWN!!!!
Lunatone won't do a damned thing; Solrock hits Slaking with Solarbeam and leaves him with about 20% health.
Butts...should have healed the Slaking.
ROUND THIRTEEN:
Gonna use Alakazam's turn to use a Revive for Pelipper; Slaking uses Yawn on Lunatone--
YOU MISSED?!?!? HOW CAN YOU MISS?!?!?! YOU CAN'T TOM THIS SHIT WHEN A BADGE IS ON THE LINE!!!!!!
Solrock loafs around; Lunatone knocks out Slaking with Psychic, meaning Gyarados is back out.
Shit. Okay...at least the Truant ability is making Sunny Day a wasted investment for the whole Solarbeam shit. And luckily, both of my Water-types are also Flying-types, so that shit won't be as catastrophic.
ROUND FOURTEEN:
Alakazam uses Shadow Ball on Solrock to get him back down to 1/2 health; Gyarados waits his turn.
Lunatone hits Gyarados with Psychic for a knockout, forcing out Pelipper; Solrock then proceeds to knock Pelipper out with ANOTHER Psychic.
ROUND FIFTEEN:
Alakazam uses his turn so that I can revive Slaking. I mean, for fuck's sake, he's my last Pokemon and I need a buffer zone.
That's better.
Solrock loafs around (thank fucking Jesus); Lunatone hits Alakazam with Psychic and actually does a good bit of damage.
I have to get really strategic now.
ROUND SIXTEEN:
Slaking hits Solrock with Strength and he's hanging on by a thread; Alakazam delivers the deathblow with Shadow Ball and puts the Solrock down.
HALLELUJAH, MOTHERFUCKER!
Lunatone puts Slaking to sleep with Hypnosis.
You...fuck you.
ROUND SEVENTEEN:
Not much going on in this turn; gotta use both turns to revive Gyarados and Pelipper for the double-team Surf-fucking and Lunatone used Calm Mind to fuck me further.
ROUND EIGHTEEN:
I've learned my mistake from the Slaking knockout in Round Thirteen; I use both turns to fill up Pelipper and Gyarados with Hyper Potions, then Lunatone used Calm Mind one more time.
ROUND NINETEEN:
Alakazam hits Lunatone and leaves it with maybe 7/8 of his health left; Slaking should have used Slack Off to heal after waking up...but he doesn't wake up.
Because he's Tomming the shit out of this battle.
Lunatone uses Psychic and knocks out the sleepy Slaking. Now I gotta bring in Gyarados and hope for the best.
ROUND TWENTY:
Alakazam uses Recover and gets back to full health; Gyarados has Dragon Rage queued and ready.
Lunatone pops Alakazam with Psychic and buts her in the deep yellow...then the Dragon Rage hits and Lunatone is down to a quarter of its health!
Then!
Then...
It eats a MOTHERFUCKING SITRUS BERRY!!!!!!!
I...I hate so much. Back to 75% health.
ROUND TWENTY-ONE:
Alakazam uses Recover once again, but can only get back up to 66% health; then Gyarados actually goes before Lunatone (I have no idea why) and hits it with Dragon Rage and leaves it with only 1/3 health left.
Lunatone uses Psychic and takes out Alakazam.
Alakazam, you were an amazing contributor to this battle. You've been in here since Round Four and you deserve a break.
Pelipper! Get in here and do something worth it!
ROUND TWENTY-TWO:
Lunatone uses Psychic and knocks out Pelipper.
You...why do you? Why?
Gyarados is all who's left now and he pops Lunatone with Dragon Rage one more time...
But it isn't enough. Just barely isn't enough. I know they're gonna use the Hyper Potion next turn, so I gotta act quickly.
ROUND TWENTY-THREE:
I revive Slaking, and they (as predicted) use a Hyper Potion to fully heal the Lunatone.
So much work...but I'm almost there.
ROUND TWENTY-FOUR:
Slaking hits Lunatone with Strength and leaves it with just over half health; Gyarados cannot release the Surf in time...
Lunatone hits Slaking with Psychic and knocks it out.
Okay...fuck. If I don't use a Revive now, then I'm done.
ROUND TWENTY-FIVE:
Use that motherfucking Revive and get the fuck back in there Slaking!
Just have to buy me some time is all...
Lunatone's Psychic hits Gyarados directly with Psychic--
BUT HE'S NOT KNOCKED OUT?!?! Oh, this is a blessing! This is the opportunity I've been waiting for! Hells yes! Finally, some fucking slack!
ROUND TWENTY SIX:
Gyarados, you have been a trooper, but you must use your turn so that I may use a Hyper Potion on Slaking; Slaking, you must--
LOAFING AROUND?!?!? WHY ARE YOU LOAFING AROUND?!?!?!?
Oh my god...of course! It's been all this time and Alakazam has still been up and fighting. Now that he's out and Solrock is out, the Skill Swap must have reset; Slaking is Truant again!
Lunatone uses Psychic on Gyarados and knocks out the mighty sea-serpent.
Lunatone only has a third of his health left, and Slaking has the next turn to make the attack...but can Strength break through the Rock-type defenses and deliver the K.O.? I have no idea what I'm gonna do if it can't deliver the deathblow, since I have no idea if there's another Hyper Potion to set this fight back to Square One.
You know what? Let's fucking DO THIS! I gambled coming in here, so let's gamble going out!
ROUND TWENTY SEVEN:
Kevin's Slaking, lvl 40 vs. Liza's Lunatone, lvl 42
Use Strength! Use ALL of the Strength!
KA-BOOM! KNOCK-OUT BLOW! FUCK YEAH, BITCHES!!!!!!
I have the Mind Badge, the freedom to use Dive outside of battle (even though I don't have the damned HM yet), and TM 04 which teaches Calm Mind. God, I'm exhausted from this fight, but I feel like a fucking master!
Enjoy this with me, damn you! I'm almost done!
Blaziken, lvl 40
Slaking, lvl 40
Magneton, lvl 34
Pelipper, lvl 33
Gyarados, lvl 32
Alakazam, lvl 31
Pokedex: 63, Badges: 7
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