This Better Not Have Zubats...

So, I guess the next place for me to head is up Route 111.  The next town, it looks like, is called Lavaridge Town.  Okay, that's a good enough reason for me to get my Water-types and my Rock-types at the ready.

Honestly, though, if I fucking nailed this thing on the head and the next gym is a Fire-type gym, I'm gonna laugh.

It's good to see you again, Wingull! And as for you, Ralts...

I think it's time we gave you the Experience Share.  Now...let's crack these motherfucking rocks open!

First trainers I come across are reporters that make me do that fucking "Pick-A-Word" bullshit.  That has to stop.  I hate it.  If it was a person, I would hate him, too.

Woah, fucking sandstorm to the north! What the hell is going on up there? Is that a desert or some shit? Guess I have to go down Route 112, instead.

Hey, actual tall grass! Let's see what they got around here.  Hopefully something interesting.

Also, in case of shit, Ralts just learned Teleport, and until I get the Fly HM, that's almost as good.

Okay...so, tall grass has Marill, which I don't need--

OH FUCK IT'S A NUMEL! YOU THINK YOU GOT GAME?!? WINGULL, BITCH! CAUGHT!

Goddamn, you look goofy as hell...

Numel, lvl 16

Gender: Male

Nature: Hardy

Ability: Oblivious

HP: 45

Attack: 25

Defense: 18

Special Attack: 29

Special Defense: 23

Speed: 20

Wait...it would have been this long before getting a Fire-type if I didn't pick Torchic? Way to fucking go, me! And it's got a Rawst Berry--oh, that heals burns! Okay! Cool, I needed one of those.

Mount Chimney, eh? Well, if this is the next step, then so be it...but so help me fucking god if it's another Zubat-hole...

And who are those suspicious-looking cocksticks in the big, fluffy red hoodies blocking the way to my goddamned cable car?!

Into the cave? Fuck you, game.

Combusken, lvl 24

Mightyena, lvl 21

Geodude, lvl 21

Vigoroth, lvl 20

Wingull, lvl 18

Ralts, lvl 17

Pokedex: 26, Badges: 3

Fuck Super Potions!

Like any Electric-type gym worth it's salt, the leader set fucking traps everywhere.  Really, they're just electric barriers, but still, there are no straight-forward high-profile Electric-type trainers out there.  They love to take your time with ridiculous shit, then fuck your shit up real quick...unless, of course, you have a Ground-type.  Still, I got everyone around Level 20 or so, so I should be golden.

Mauville City Gym: Wattson, the Electric Santa

I am not going to let you do to me what Brawly did to me in Dewford.  I came prepared this time, but I'm going to show at least some degree of sportsmanship.

ROUND ONE:

Kevin's Mightyena, lvl 21     vs.     Wattson's Voltorb, lvl 20

The Intimidate right off the bat should weaken Selfdestruct if Voltorb decides to go that route, so even if she loses, Voltorb is weakened enough to take out by the next Pokemon.

Shock Wave hits Mightyena, taking her down to 44/62 health.  After some research, I learned that Shock Wave is like an Electric-type Swift...so fuck me.

Bite knocks down Voltorb to about 2/3 of its total health.  No flinch, but that's fine for now.

Spark brings us down to 21/63.  At this rate, I should be able to take out Voltorb with Mightyena.

Bite hits again and Voltorb is just barely conscious.  Here we go, girl, just one--

Super Potion! Goddamn it! Who the fuck at GameFreak told the developers to give all the gym leaders all these Super Potions?! Pain in my fucking ass...

Bite delivers a critical hit and Voltorb is right back down to where it was before the potion! Fuck you, Wattson--!

Critical hit on Spark and Mightyena is down.  Well, shit.  Fine, I can cope.

ROUND TWO:

Kevin's Vigoroth, lvl 20     vs.     Wattson's Voltorb, lvl 20

WOAH! Selfdestruct right off the bat! Well, Voltorb is done...

But Vigoroth isn't! I knew sending in the dog first was a good idea! Vigoroth is just down to 40/67 health, but that's more than enough for her to keep going through the thick of this fight.

Looks like he's gonna send out Elecktrike, and if that thing knows an always-hitting Electric-type move, then I know exactly what to use...

ROUND THREE:

Kevin's Geodude, lvl 20     vs.     Wattson's Electrike, lvl 20

Yeah, that's right.  I went back to Dewford to fuck over Wattson.

Geodude, lvl 20

Gender: Female

Nature: Careful

Ability: Rock Head

HP: 47

Attack: 38

Defense: 45

Special Attack: 20

Special Defense: 20

Speed: 15

Howl? Yeah, you're gonna want to increase that Attack as high as you can before--

Too late.  Magnitude 10.  Critical hit.  Super effective.  One-hit knock-out? You bet your ass! Who's up?

ROUND FOUR:

Kevin's Combusken, lvl 24     vs.     Wattson's Magneton, lvl 22

You got Steel.  I got feet.  Let's go--

Oh, you're faster than me?! That's fucking odd.  Okay...

Thunderwave.  Oh, fuck you, buddy!

Combusken is fully paralyzed.  Fucking great! COME ON, CHICKEN!!!!

Sonicboom takes away twenty Hit Points out of a total 66.  I can only take four of those, so I better get something in on this guy.

Double Kick hits, but it only takes away 1/4 of the health from Magneton.  Oh, the math isn't gonna add up well for this.  I might want to try Ember.

Shock Wave takes away thirty more Hit Points.  Only got 16/66 now.  Come on, hit with Ember--

Fully paralyzed.  You, Combusken...you...why?

Shock Wave knocks out Combusken.  Okay...nothing is over yet.

ROUND FIVE:

Kevin's Vigoroth, lvl 20     vs.     Wattson's Magneton, lvl 22

The magnet monster is faster than Vigoroth, too?!? Shit!

Sonicboom leaves Vigoroth with only 20 HP left, so this shit is not gonna end well for my anger-sloth.

Rock Smash take Magneton down to the deep red of the health bar.  There's not much I can ask of her besides that, so I'm--

MOTHERFUCKING SUPER POTION! ARRGHH! FUCK SUPER POTIONS! FUCK 'EM! FUCK 'EM IN THE POTION ASSHOLE!

Rock Smash hits again, but this time, Magneton has over 75% of it's health left...

And Shock Wave takes out Vigoroth.

ROUND SIX:

Kevin's Geodude, lvl 20     vs.     Wattson's Magneton, lvl 22

You know, I tried to play nice.  I really did.  But now...fuck you.  Fuck you, fat man, and fuck your Super Potions.

Give me the Sonicboom.  I don't care.  Geodude still has 27 HP left, so you're fucked, bro.

Magnitude 7 hits and Magneton gets knocked into three dead Magnemites.  YEAH! SUCK AN ASS!

ROUND SEVEN:

Kevin's Shroomish, lvl 20     vs.     Wattson's Manectric, lvl 24

I'm gonna make you wish I never came into this gym, motherfucker.

That's right...howl.  It won't save you.

Leech Seed hits.  Step One of the "Shroomish-Suck-You-Dry Technique" is complete.

Quick Attack isn't too bad and Shroomish is down to 34/56 health.  Get ready, because here comes Step Two!

Stun Spore connects! There's your Step Two, bitch! And after the seeds leech Manectric, I'm up to 43/56.  And since you're now paralyzed, I'll take this opportunity to work on Step Three, which is Mega Drain, which brings Manectric to yellow and Shroomish pretty much back to full health.

Thunderwave.  Okay, so now we're both paralyzed.  Still got the advantage--

And then Manectric heals with a Sitrus Berrry.  Fuckin'--IT'S LIKE A SUPER POTION BERRY!!!! Well, fuck you, because Leech Life is still in effect, and that shit is gonna bring your ass down.

Shroomish is fully paralyzed...and so is Manectric.  This is riveting, but Leech Seed is the player to watch.

Shock Wave hits Shroomish, not very effective, and Shroomish is down to 35/56.  I'll get that health back very quickly...

Mega Drain, combined with the leeched health, pulls Manectric back below half health and Shroomish a mere eight Hit Points away from full health.  What did I tell you, Wattson? Don't fuck with me!

Quick Attack takes another 20 HP away from Shroomish, but despite being fully paralyzed his next turn, Leech Seed still does the damage to reduce Manectric to 25% health and Shroomish recovers some of the health he lost.

Another Quick Attack slams into Shroomish, only having 16/56 health now, but Mega Drain connects and after Leech Seed is factored in, Manectric is hanging on by a thread.

Go ahead...use the Super Potion.  I fucking dare you! Use the potion and Geodude comes back out.  I swear to Christ, I'll do it.

Shock Wave.  A wise choice.  Shroomish is in the red now...

However, Mega Drain knocks that motherfucker out! You see this, Wattson? This is the face of a man who has had enough shit from the Hoenn League!

Ba-bam! Dynamobadge and the Shock Wave TM! I'll take it!

Now, let's see what I can do with this badge...

I know! I can reunite the lovers in that Rusturf Tunnel--

And the guy gives me the Strength HM.  Honestly, I'm getting a little sick of HM's now.  I just want Surf and Fly.  Can I get those soon, please?

Also, apparently, the guy at the Trick House has a new "puzzle" for me, so I'll take care of that...

A Timer Ball? I...okay.  Well, there's only one way to go from here and that's north through the rocks...

WHILE POPPING A SWEET-ASS VICTORY WHEELIE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!

Combusken, lvl 24

Geodude, lvl 21

Shroomish, lvl 21

Mightyena, lvl 20

Aron, lvl 20

Vigoroth, lvl 20

Pokedex: 25, Badges: 3

Build Up The Pokedex

Oh shit, this is where that tunnel outside of Rusturf ends up! Oh, that'll be great to connect the two cities...

But I can't use Rock Smash yet outside of battle, so fucking awesome.  There's a Battle Tent here, too, apparently, but it's got these weird-ass rules where I can choose my Pokemon, but I can't decide what moves they use in battle; something about how their nature factors in--

You know what? Later.  I have training to do.  I have two fairly weak and unevolved Pokemon that need to feel worthy of my love--

OH, IT'S A GAMSMASH!!!!!

Loudred Gamsmash, lvl 20

HP: 68

Attack: 39

Defense: 23

Special Attack: 32

Special Defense: 29

Speed: 29

I find myself more appreciative of Normal-type Pokemon as I make my way through the Generations.  Yes, they don't have a lot of type-strengths, but they can learn pretty much every move in the game, and that makes them very useful.

On a side-note, Poochyena's need to fucking stop showing up everywhere.  I caught mine way early on and I will not have it be the case where I could have just released her and started higher up on the chain--

On second thought, I won't need to release her now.

Mightyena, lvl 18

Ability: Intimidate

HP: 55

Attack: 41

Defense: 38

Special Attack: 27

Special Defense: 25

Speed: 31

This little lady is going to be crucial if I run into any Psychic-type trainers of high-profile later on in the game, since I don't know where I can get me a Heracross yet.  And really, it takes way too long to learn Megahorn, so this will be great.  Especially since I found these bad boys in a little outside alcove by the cave:

There's just two more things I need to do: I've taught Vigoroth two HM moves that will need to be erased later, so I need to catch me an HM slave.  When I was playing through Gold for shits and giggles, I found one that worked pretty well for Cut and Flash, and since they're in the area, why not?

Oddish, lvl 14

Gender: Male

Nature: Modest

Ability: Chlorophyll

HP: 37

Attack: 19

Defense: 23

Special Attack: 28

Special Defense: 26

Speed: 15

Now that I have me a slave, I have to find something a little more aesthetic.  This may be a thing more for saying that I have it (or them, really) than actually using it (them) in battle, but if there's a Flying-type trainer or a Water-type trainer later, I may be tempted.  It's too bad these things are such a bitch to find--

THERE!!!!!

Plusle, lvl 13

Gender: Female

Nature: Hasty

Ability: Plus

HP: 38

Attack: 18

Defense: 13

Special Attack: 29

Special Defense: 27

Speed: 35

You know what this means?

Do you know what this means?!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?!?!?!?!

...

...

...

YEAH! DANCE PARTY!

Okay, I think I've trained enough to take on the Mauville Gym leader.  But just in case, I've got one last trick up my sleeve...

Combusken, lvl 24

Vigoroth, lvl 20

Mightyena, lvl 20

Loudred, lvl 20

Aron, lvl 18

Shroomish, lvl 18

Pokedex: 24, Badges: 2