See this? This is what Granite Cave looks like. I never knew because Flash only lights up a little circle around my sprite as opposed to the entire cave. Fuck new Flash.
Arturo's brother. What the fuck are you doing in a cave? Here's a letter. Steel Wing TM? Fucking thanks. Now what the fuck do I do? Mr. Briney! Fix this!
I can sail to Slateport City now? Sweet! Let's fucking go.
Christ, this city is big. Beach is nice, though. Girl there gave me Soft Sand. Boy there fucked me up with a Zigzagoon that knew Surf.
That...knew this:
Fuck you. What's in here?
Fight all the trainers in the Seashore House and win something? Cool.
I won soda pop. Fuck you, shit-boy. Also, little bitches hiding under umbrellas waiting to double-batte me when I go to grab a Potion? Not fucking nice, bitch-children.
IS THERE NO FUCKING GYM HERE?!?!?!
Shit! Eh, there's a market with some crazy bitch who says that I should "go for it a little harder" with my Pokemon. Am I supposed to fuck one of them to get some item? What the fuck are you talking about?!?!
Also, Vitamins in the market. Kick-ass. Remembering this.
He ran off somewhere? Fuck that asshole--
What the fuck is this thing?
Battle Tent--?
WOAH. The rules are fucking ridiculous! I rent three Pokemon out of six, fight others, then I can swap one out for one I defeated and keep going? Holy shit, that sounds weird and stupid and cool so I'll do it.
They got Goldeen, Beautifly, Breloom, Loudred, Ninjask, and Wingull for rental. Okay...gonna do a break-down for this, but I'm gonna fucking lightning round this shit, because fuck you, it was like an Elite Four challenge in there!
Here's my team:
Let's do this fucking thing already.
First Opponent: Tuber Twat
Breloom stuns Lotad
Beautifly knocks out Lotad
Beautifly stuns Wailmer, then knocks it the fuck out.
Taillow fucks up Beautifly.
Loudred knocks out Taillow.
Fuck you, tuber-twat. I'm taking your Wailmer. Get the fuck outta here, Breloom. Next!
Second Opponent: Guitar Douche
Wailmer destroys Swablu, 'cause fucker knows Rollout.
Spinda knocks out Wailmer. Cheeky little cunt.
Beautifly knocks out Spinda. Fuck you!
Beautifly stuns and knocks out Vigoroth before falling asleep,
Won again. I want that Vigoroth. Loudred has to go. Next!
Third Opponent: Old Fucker
Beautifly stuns and knocks out Machoke.
Wailmer knocks out Numel.
Wailmer knocks out Mightyena.
Wait...that's it? I'm done? Great. What do I win?
...
...
...just a Full Heal? Eat my ass, Battle Tent--
WHERE THE FUCK IS CAPTAIN STERN?!?!
Oh, all the Aqua have gone into the museum already? Alright, let's check it out.
Hey, Stern's on the second floor. Hey, got some expensive Devon equipment for your submersible vehicle--
Fuck! Shoulda known they were waiting for me. Alright, you got more Poochyenas for me to fucking destroy?
Well, that's certainly different. Too bad my Aron is a powerhouse. Fuck your fish. Oh, you got another grunt? Let's see what he's packing:
Go the fuck home...you're drunk.
Who's this asshole? You run Team Aqua? Your grunts suck. Who's Team Magma? No answers? Great...fuck you, too--
Seriously, who the fuck is this guy?! This is like the second time he's just run onscreen, said a one-line bit of dialogue, then ran the fuck away! His name is Scott. Scott is a twat. Easy to remember.
Okay...now what the fuck do I do?
Hey, I delivered that message to Steven!
Mr. Stone, give me more shit!
Fuck yes, Experience Share! I love you, Mr. Stone...
Put that helmet on, lazy-ass.
I guess there's nothing left to do now in this podunk fishing village...so now onto the arduous fucking tasks involved in berry tree maintenance...which is the goddamned bane of my existence! ARGH!
Okay, what's up here? Route 110? Okay, this leads up to Mauville City. Maybe there's a gym there--
Woah, what the fuck is going on over here?!?
Combusken, lvl 19
Wingull, lvl 16
Aron, lvl 15
Ralts, lvl 14
Shroomish, lvl 13
Slakoth, lvl 12
Pokedex: 17, Badges: 2
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