It is now Day 2 of what I am calling "Emerald-Watch 2013", the nine-day period where I must hold vigil for the impending UPS truck to deliver my version of Pokemon Emerald for the Gameboy Advance.
How am I spending Emerald-Watch 2013? Brace yourselves. Since I am venturing into Generation-III...
...
...I am researching EV training.
Yes, I know that it is time-consuming and sort of takes the fun out of the game, but have you considered the following:
Shut the fuck up.
If this game marks the point at which I can actually carry my Pokemon over into later generations and games, you're goddamned right I'm gonna make them motherfuckers as powerful as humanly fucking possible!
Everyone did the Missingno. glitch back in the day to get infinite Rare Candies while sacrificing their Hall of Fame records, but there's total legitimacy to this!
However...it's complicated as shit, and very few online sources can give me all the answers. This is, however, what I do know:
1) If your Pokemon get experience points from a battle, they also get EVs from the defeated Pokemon based on what it was.
2) EV's increase your Pokemon's stats over time, with 4 EVs resulting in +1 to the corresponding stat.
3) A single Pokemon can only receive a maximum of 255 EVs in a single stat, but since 3 EVs would be wasted in this case, it is advisable to only put 252 EVs into a single stat.
4) A single Pokemon can only earn a total of 510 EVs, but since 2 of those EVs won't divide evenly by 4, you're better off dividing the EV load as such: 252 / 252 / 4
5) A Pokemon starts earning EVs the second it wins its first battle, so it's better to start from scratch and breed your Pokemon and hatch them from an egg.
6) Rare Candies level up you Pokemon without them gaining EVs, so you might want to save them for later.
7) A single Pokemon can only take 10 of each kind of vitamin before it "won't have any effect".
Now...I thought this was enough to go on to start practicing EV training in my old Pokemon Gold version. I had been working on a dynamite team (Typhlosion, Steelix, Heracross, Jolteon, Slowbro, Crobat) just to get to a point where I could literally fuck any competition that came my way, and once I got to Mount Silver, I decided to fuck around with EV training. I used the Master Ball to catch a Dragonair (because fuck you, I don't give a shit about this game, really) an bred me a Dratini.
Do you have any idea how long it takes to hatch a Dratini? Think in years.
So, I hatch this Dratini and decide that I want to make this a monster by EV training it in Attack and Special Attack. How can I do this?
These fuckers give you 1 EV in Attack and 1 EV in Special Attack FOR EACH ONE YOU BEAT! I figured that'd be fucking awesome; I'll strap the Experience Share to Dratini's head, send in Typhlosion, and keep track of the EVs by counting down Typhlosions PP for Flame Wheel and Thunderpunch, since both can one-shot a Level 5 Unown pretty hard. And since the Experience Share will slow Dratini's leveling, I'll be able to cram in the EV's first, then go out and train him legit and without a care in the world.
I remember the thing about how each Pokemon can only take 10 of each vitamin before it becomes ineffective, so I bought one of each (since that was all I could afford), gave them to Dratini, and set off for the Ruins of Alph.
Are you cringing yet? What if I told you I spent about three hours today in the Ruins of Alph EV training this fucking Dratini when my curiosity led me to discover a few more tidbits about EV training, namely:
8) Vitamins give your Pokemon 10 EVs in the corresponding stat, but only for the first 100 EVs that Pokemon earns.
So...you're telling me that not only should I have only planned on giving Dratini 5 Proteins and 5 Calciums instead of 10...but that because I gave it an HP Up, an Iron, and a Carbos as well, I basically threw 30 EVs down the toilet? The equivalent of 30 Unowns, an entire drain of Typhlosion's Flame Wheel and 5 uses of Thunderpunch...completely down the shitter?!?!?!?!?!?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!
I released my failed Dratini. Fortunately, I put an Electabuzz in the Day-Care with a Ditto right before I started the million mile march to hatch that fucking egg, so there might be an Elekid to try to EV train while I wait for Emerald to come in (and we all know how much I like Elekid).
Realistically, Emerald's going to come before Elekid even fucking evolves, so I don't think I'm even gonna waste my time, since I won't even be able to use the damn EV-trained Electabuzz in Emerald, so fuck it.
Fuck it!
Emerald-Watch 2013: T-8 days until I lose my shit
Ok, first of all: I am an EV-training expert. Let me advise you on a few things.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, EV training takes an INCREDIBLE amount of time if you're going to rough it like that. I EV trained a whole team the hard way. It took literally weeks.
Second of all, and in part because of this, I do not advise you EV train anything at all until you beat the elite 4 in any given game.
"But Joe, you beautiful beautiful man, you, I really want my upcoming Torchic to be a total rapist!" I hear you say.
Here's the thing: there are berries and (in 5th Gen) services that can actually ERASE EV's. Allowing you to start over anytime you like. Feel free to tear-ass through the game with the intention of EV training anything you want later on.
"But Jooooe!" I hear you continuing to bitch, "It'll still take forever, right? Killing 252 Magikarp - or even 152 after vitamins - will drive me insane!"
Nope. Done right, you can EV train an entire TEAM in less than an hour.
How? There are several ways:
First of all, yes, as you realized on your own, Vitamins are Godsends, doing nearly half the work for you. Expensive, yes, but so worth it.
Secondly, there are items that can expidite the EV training process. Called the "Power items" these items add 4 EVs in various stats after each battle. Really really speeds up the process. Put on a Power Weight and kill a Magikarp, and you will gain 5 EVs instead of 1 in speed.
Thirdly: biological warfare. There is an extremely rare virus in Pokemon called Pokerus. Rarer even than shiny pokemon, this virus DOUBLES the EVs you earn from each battle.
And yes, this includes the bonus EVs from the Power Items. So infect your Pokemon with Pokerus and give it a Power item, it will earn TEN EVs per battle.
So to get to 252, max it out on vitamins (gets to 100), infect it, give it a power item of choice, and kill 15 Pokemon of choice (gets to 250), then take the power item off and kill one more pokemon (for the last 2). Takes ten minutes tops.
A great how-to guide, albeit for platinum the system hasn't changed:
http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/946308-pokemon-platinum-version/49249173
Now GETTING some of these resources can take time. But fortunately you have backup in me. I can gladly trade you stuff to help you out, including Pokerus and Power Items.
Ultimately, the people who say EV training is hard and takes the fun out of it are making excuses. EV training is a total blast and takes no time at all if you know what you're doing.
Welcome to the big leagues.
Oh, one thing, if you do decide to just level your Pokemons and EV train later, as I do, don't take them to level 100. You can't earn EVs unless you earn XP, which you don't at level 100.
ReplyDeleteI'm just gonna keep hitting this button until everything works out
Delete